Down to Erth
by SharanMcQuack
Summary: Flooding in Ireland reveals caverns in Ireland, beliving there may be gold down there rememeber the Golden Caverns in Luck O' the Ducks?, Mr. McDuck and gang go there.


**Down to Erth**

by Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.

* * *

Launchpad was washing "Sharan's Song", the antique Bi-plane I bought him for Valentine's Day. I was going nuts trying to figure out what to get him for Valentine's Day when I saw that plane in a junkyard in a city not far from Duckburg.

When I found out it was due to be turned into scrap metal in a few days, that solved the "What to get Launchpad for Valentine's Day" problem. I had to enlist the aid of Loopy, Launchpad's kid sister, to fix it, the plane was in pretty bad shape when I bought her.

Webby was watching him.

"You sure wash your planes a lot, Launchpad" Webby said.

"Clean planes fly better. Less wind resistance." Launchpad said.

"What's wind resistance, Launchpad?" Webby asked.

"When the wind blows against your plane slowing it down, that's wind resistance. " Launchpad explained

"It can cause you to waste fuel and puts a strain on engine parts. The cleaner a plane is, the less the wind can slow it down." Launchpad said.

"What if the wind is blowing the same way you are flying?" Webby asked.

"You still have be careful. You can fly too fast and have trouble landing safely. Or the wind can die down or shift direction, causing you to spin out of control." Launchpad said. (1)

"Launchpad! I want you to fly us to Ireland tomorrow. There has been some flooding there and a sinkhole opened up, revealing caverns. I want to explore those caverns!" Mr. McDuck said.

" After that business with the Leprechauns and the Golden Caverns, you think there might be some gold down there, right? OK. But you do realize what tomorrow is, don't you, Mr. McDee"? Launchpad asked.

Mr. McDuck looked blank.

"It's Saint Patrick's day, Mr. McDee" I said.

"What did you call me?" Mr. McDuck demanded.

It was my turn to look blank. Then I laughed.

" NOW HE'S GOT ME CALLING HIM THAT! Does it bother you. Mr. McDuck when Launchpad calls you "Mr. McDee"?" I asked.

"No, of course not. I'm used to it from him. I was just surprised to hear YOU calling me that. Why?" Mr. McDuck asked.

"Because if it bothered you I'd ask him to knock it off. Nicely. I DO like you, you know. I just get annoyed at you for being rude and down-right unappreciative of my Launchpad." I said.

"Bah! You just married him for his money!" said Mr. McDuck, without thinking about what he was saying.

"WHAT money? LAUNCHPAD barely has two dimes to rub together!" said I, also without thinking.

"You know that? Then why did you marry him?" Mr. McDuck demanded.

"What PART of "Because I love him" do you NOT understand?" I asked.

"How can you love someone who has no money?" Mr. McDuck screamed.

"You DO realize that it's normal to not have very much money? Most people don't have very much money. Very few people practically have the silly stuff oozing out of their ears already the way you do. But I married Launchpad because all I ever wanted- all I ever needed- was a friend. So I married my best friend." I explained.

"Hump! Well, both of you be here, first thing tomorrow! We're heading for Ireland!" Mr. McDuck said.

So, bright and early the next day, Launchpad and I were waiting for Mr. McDuck and the boys. Launchpad was dressed in green and was wearing a "Kiss me, I'm Irish" button. (2) I was also in green, wearing an "Irish by marriage" button. (3) The triplets, just for fun, were each dressed in a different shade of green.

"Why are YOU coming?" they demanded to know. (4)

"Webby isn't feeling well. Mrs. Beakly has to stay home and take care of Webby. SOMEBODY has to keep an eye on you three and it looks like I'm elected. Besides, I think she's getting tired of gallivanting around with you guys. She doesn't mind taking care of you at home, but running all over the globe is getting too much for her." I explained.

"What's with the camera?" they asked.

"The Duckburg Daily News (5) asked Mr. McDuck for pictures of this expedition. Since I'm coming along anyway, Mr. McDuck handed me this camera rather than pay a cameraman. I'm also supposed to do a report for them, which a real reporter will probably rewrite, but I hope to do a good enough job that I get to tag along like this more often." I said.

"Launchpad, love, is that a VTOL? A Vertical Take-off and Landing craft?" I asked him about the plane.

"Sure" Launchpad said.

"You know how to fly a VTOL? Of course you do." I said.

Then I turned to Mr. McDuck and asked him:  
"On WHAT planet is somebody who knows how to fly a VTOL stupid? A planet with excruciatingly high standards?"

Mr. McDuck pretended like he didn't hear me.

Launchpad flew the VTOL to Ireland, then landed it. We asked around and were guided by some locals to the entrance to the caverns. It was beautiful down there. the rocks were all colors: red, green, blue, yellow. And such shapes! Water had shaped stalactites (T for Top) and stalagmites into all kinds of shapes: ice cream cones, horses, dragons, etc.

As we went further down, there were more and more yellow rocks, especially right in front of us. the other color rocks were to the side, forming a path of sorts.

"Why does this strike me as familiar?" I asked nobody in particular.

Then we saw it.

"An Emerald City! THAT'S why this struck me as familiar, instead of yellow BRICK road, it's a yellow ROCK road!" I said.

A male duck, obviously a guard, stood in front of the city's gates.

"Welcome, travelers, to the land of Erth. This is our only city, called Erthguard. I will take you to Queen Alice." he said.

"We're on an adventure under ground and we're about to meet a girl named Alice. Curiouser and Curiouser." I said.

I tried not to giggle uncontrollably when I saw Queen Alice was a blonde. With blue eyes, yet. Luckily she was an adult, too old to complete the image.

"Greetings, Strangers. I see you have come in search of treasure. And you! You are an extremely greedy man, yet you value honesty above all! You are aware of these two opposing forces- honesty and greed- battling within you- and you are determined not to allow greed to get the better of you. You have amassed a vast fortune- but what you are proudest of is the fact you have done so fair and square." Queen Alice said to Mr. McDuck

"How do you know all that?" Mr. McDuck asked.

"I am a seer. I sense peoples' intent. That is why I am Queen. No one can trick me. No one can lie to me." Queen Alice said.

"Then you know I will deal with you fairly. I came here for treasure, true. but I will trade full value for it. There must be things the surface world has that your Underland (6) lacks. Food, medicine, and technology- I will trade them for emeralds. Or for food, medicine and technology your Underland has that we lack." Mr. McDuck offered.

"You can do us a great service instead. We of Erth are threatened by my wicked cousin, Tomlin." Queen Alice bargained.

'Being a distant cousin of mine, Tomlin has some small claim to my throne. He has learned much evil magic and threatens to use it to conquer my kingdom and either slay me or force me to marry him. I would rather die than marry such a wicked man, especially since I am engaged to another cousin, Lord Taylor, a good man love dearly." Queen Alice explained.

" But Tomlin has captured Lord Taylor who used to use his magic to protect the city of Erth. I cannot use my magic against Tomlin, it is forbidden to us to use magic directly against kin. If you can defeat Tomlin for us I will grant you any treasure you can name. I sense both you and Launchpad are brave men who have often fought side by side- as if you were brothers. Will you defeat Tomlin for us and free my beloved Lord Taylor?" Queen Alice asked.

"How can we go up against Magic?' Launchpad asked.

"If you can find any free Lord Taylor, he can use his magic to protect you. He is related to Tomlin, too- and can not hurt him thru magic." Queen Alice began.

" Also, since Tomlin started attacking outlaying villages, I evaluated all citizens to within the walls of Erthguard, so my magic can protect them. In their haste to leave, a few magic artifacts were lost or left behide by people who choose to protect themselves or their children and leave the magic item. Since they acted as if the item was trivial to them, they may have escaped Tomlin's notice." Queen Alice continued.

" If your eyes are open you may find them- or they may find you. they are good magic and are attracted to people who have earned them. Especially if you have the ability to use that particular item partiality well." Queen Alice finished.

So, using a map provided by Queen Alice, we set out for Tomlin's Fortress of Sorcery (7). It soon became difficult to hide ourselves, the Fortress was in the middle of no place and no one went any where near the place.

All of the sudden, a small bottle rolled towards Launchpad and started following him like a dog. It did everything EXCEPT scream : "Pick me up! Pick me up!"

It is a testimony to the sort of person Launchpad is and the sort of life he's lived that it only took him a minute to get over being weirded out by this (8) and picked it up.

In the bottle was some white salve and written on the bottle were the words: "To grow wings, rub on white salve and say the words: "Grow and flow" (9)

"Not much left" Launchpad mumbled.

"Don't tell me you think that stuff will work?" Mr. McDuck demanded of Launchpad.

Launchpad stared at Mr. McDuck in shock and said:  
"We met Leprechauns, genies, Yeti, have traveled to Atlantis and you're asking me if I believe in Magic? Of course I believe in Magic! How can I not?"

Then, without warning, the ground opened by beneath our feet- by sheer luck, I was standing on solid rock so I was OK, but the others started to fall. Launchpad grabbed them all and ran, carrying Mr. McDuck and the boys to safety.

"Anemic, he ain't" I muttered, marveling.

A few minutes, later we were all looking down- WAY down- at the Grand Canyon-size hole that had opened in front of us. Far down on the bottom was a raging river, full of hungry PIKE! (10) Launchpad realized the only way to get across was if the salve worked, so he rubbed what little was left on his back and said :  
"Grow and Flow!"

Hardly were the words out of Launchpad's mouth did a second hole opened up beneath us, and this time we ALL fell. But Launchpad grabbed all of us in midair.

"WINGS! You've got WINGS!" Mr. McDuck screamed.  
(11)

"Rescue now! Talk later!" Launchpad huffed.

And he FLEW on his own power for the first time in his life.

"Launchpad! Can you carry ALL of us?" I asked, worriedly.

"Do I have a choice?" Launchpad replied, breathlessly.

Launchpad managed to fly us all to safety.

I gave him a kiss and told him:

" Have I told you lately that I love you?" I asked Launchpad.

I was amazed that the possiblity of dropping any of us never even OCCURED to him.

While we were kissing, however, the wings disappeared to wherever they came from. When Launchpad FINALLY noticed (the kiss distracted him) he said:

"Aw, I was hoping to KEEP them!" Launchpad said to me. " The bottle's empty except for some scum in it. Should I save it so you could have your big-brains examine it and maybe find a way to make some more?" Launchpad asked Mr. McDuck.

"No. I'm thru fiddling around with Magic. I'll use it when I have to, but I'm not going to pretend to understand Magic. Toss it." Mr. McDuck said.

Launchpad reluctantly threw it away.

But what's this? There is some more writing on the bottom of the bottle! Writing NONE of us saw! It reads:  
"But if used by one who is worthy, he may grow wings whenever he likes" (12)

We were right in front of Tomlin's fortress, too close to it for him to open any more holes under our feet, not without risking colasping his own fortress. So Tomlin started aiming Magical bolts at us.

We ran so not to be fried. Just then, an oddly shaped golden coin, not quite round, rolled unevenly towards Mr. McDuck. Then it, I swear to God, jumped up on him and started to lick him and bumped against him like a cat.

I cracked up.

"I knew it! I knew it! I knew if you treated money any better it would start loving you back! I just knew it!" I screamed.

Mr. McDuck shot me a dirty look, but he picked up the coin. Hardly was it in his hand, did it turn into a giant golden shield, which protected us from the blasts. It didn't take too long before Mr. McDuck figured out how to aim the shiny shield so the bolts were reflected back towards Tomlin.

Since they were reflections, these bolts were not as strong as the original blasts, but they got the message across. Tomlin stopped trying to blast us.

Mr. McDuck turned the shield back into the coin and put it in his pocket.

"Might come in handy, later. But remind me to return it to Queen Alice when were thru, I might be tempted to keep it and it isn't mine." Mr. McDuck said.

Using a hole one of Mr. McDuck's reflected blasts had made in the Fortress, we proceeded into the Fortress. Inside, there were two staircases, one going up, one going down.

"Shall we split up? You and the boys and me and Sharan?" Launchpad asked.

"Fine. Tomlin is probably up there someplace. He may be watching Lord Taylor himself or he may have him locked up in the dungeon. You two head down to the dungeon to look for Lord Taylor. The boys and I will handle Tomlin." Mr. McDuck said, his hand on the coin on his pocket.

So Launchpad and I headed down to the dungeons. On our way to the down staircase, we passed Tomlin's library. A small book jumped down from the shelve and ended up on my beak.

"Well, you always call yourself Old-Beak-in the-book." Launchpad joked.

"It's got to be Magic. But what does it do?" I asked.

"Maybe you can summon Fictional Characters with it?" Launchpad suggested.

I tried that, but nothing happen.

So, I put in my pocket and we headed down the stair. We soon came to a dead end.

"Why would somebody built a staircase that leads nowhere? There's got to be something hidden down here." I said.

We looked around until we found a hidden switch that revealed a hidden staircase. It led to the dungeon.

We were met by some of Tomlin's henchmen, who rose to attack us.

"Oh, great, they're going to put up in a cell!' I said.

Hardly had I said that did a cell form around the guards, trapping them.

"You said the word "cell" and made a cell form around them. That book lets you create things out of words" Launchpad said.

"But only when I need it to. Or all sorts of stuff would keep popping up." I said.

In one of dungeon cells was a male duck, much disheveled.

" Welcome, Strangers. I am Lord Taylor. I sense my beloved Queen Alice sent you to free me. But you will want proof of who I am before freeing me?" He said.

"No need." said Launchpad. And he found the keys on a wall and opened the cell

"Your face was on the Golden Coin and the Golden Shield Mr. McDuck found" Launchpad explained.

"Give me your hands." Lord Taylor asked.

"Are you OK?" Launchpad asked.

Launchpad feared the man was sick or weak with hunger, so dirty and unkempt was he, when he asked for Launchpad's hands.

"I am fine. But I cannot use my Magic against kin, even as distant a kinsman as Tomlin. You must do it for me. I will lend you my Magic to use until Tomlin is defeated. do not fear, I cannot give it to you permanently, even if you wanted it. I sense you had psychic powers very similar once,(13) but gave them up because you don't like power." Lord Taylor said.

Lord Taylor took Launchpad hands and held them a brief time. Launchpad stared at his hands, and no wonder- they glowed with a faint light.

"We better try and find Mr. McDuck and the boys, they may be in trouble. Can you lead us to where Tomlin is?" Launchpad asked Lord Taylor.

Lord Taylor said he could and showed us the way to Tomlin's apartments.

MEANWHILE (the most over-used segue way in comicbookdom), Mr. McDuck were making their way up towards Tomlin's apartments when the staircase they were on disappeared and they fell.

"This seem to be Tomlin's favorite trick!" the boys yelled.

But Mr. McDuck grabbed the coin and bent over. He turned into the golden shield and jumped on it, motioning the boys to do likewise. The shield was large enough to stick in what used to be the stairwell. Then he caused the shield to rise like an elevator. When it came to the top,the boys jumped off, and Mr. McDuck grabbed the shield and jumped, turning it back into the coin while he jumped.

All of the sudden, a small blue tear-shaped object came towards the boys. It spilt itself into three smaller blue tears and jumped into their hands.

"What are we the three bears? One's too hot, the other's too cold and the third's just right" Huey said, examining them.

"Maybe that's it. Tears are mostly water. Water comes in three forms. Steam when hot. Ice when cold. Water when room temperture. They could of been attracted to you boys because there are three of you and you work best together." Mr. McDuck said.

ELSEWHERE (second only to meanwhile), Lord Taylor showed us a hidden staircase Tomlin himself used and therefore wasn't going to evaporate. We soon caught up with Mr. McDuck and the boys and all went in to face Tomlin together. We were almost disappointed. He was a perfectly ordinary looking male duck- until he turned into a giant dragon!

"HOW CAN YOU STOP ME NOW?" Tomlin demanded.

Launchpad decided it was time to try the Magic Lord Taylor had lent him. Launchpad pointed at Tomlin and then started to "steer" him, as if he was a plane.

"I'm sick and tired of people telling me I crash planes when I do no such thing! Let me show what I can do when I want to!" Launchpad said.

I realized I was witnessing a rare event: Launchpad had lost his temper.

I understood: the "people" who razz Launchpad about his non-existant crashes are his friends, and he can't really get mad at them because they are his friends. Launchpad was taking out his pent-up frustrastions on a bad guy.

Which he VERY seldom does. But the funny thing about people who are as slow to anger as Launchpad is: watch out when they DO finally get mad, because then they are holy terrors.

As proved to be the case. Launchpad "steering" Tomlin put on an air show to put his parents to shame. Until Tomlin said:

"Fool! How can you force me to fly if have no wings?" and caused his wings to disappear.

Tomlin fell right towards us. Mr. McDuck used the shield to protect us. But he couldn't keep it up forever. Tomlin, still a dragon, only minus wings, was waiting. The boys found they could use their Tears to blast Tomlin with water, steam or ice. Tomlin, being a dragon, breathed fire towards us, but ice and water blasts took care of that.

Tomlin then switched to breathing ice, which was new by ME, I've never heard of a dragon doing that- but steam melted Tomlin's ice.

"We can't fight him alone. We're got to find a way to combine our powers to defeat him- together." I said.

"Good idea! Everybody, on the count of three- hit him with everything you got! One, two, three!" Launchpad said.

I was actually hoping for a tad more SPECIFIC solution, but hey, it worked.

The boys blasted Tomlin with Ice, Water and Steam. Launchpad fired laser-like Magic bolts at him. Mr. McDuck used the shield to try and crush Tomlin. I said

"Chains! VERY strong chains!" and chains formed around him.

"Cage!" I said.

And a cage also formed around Tomlin. He roared and screamed and clawed and fought.

"Anaesthetic!" I said.

And gas formed around Tomlin. He breathed it in and the next thing you know, he was asleep.

Lord Taylor took his Magic back from Launchpad and used it to bring Queen Alice's guards. Now that Tomlin had been defeated in battle Queen Alice could lay a geis on him: that he would leave the Underland forever and not be able to rest till he found a way to make up for the Evil he had might take a while, as Tomlin still failed to acknowledge he had done anything wrong.

"You have done well. You may have whatever treasure you can name. It can include the magical talismans you have found, if you like." Queen Alice said.

I said:  
"No way! Give it back to whoever owns it."

The boys did likewise. Launchpad explained about the now-empty bottle. Mr. McDuck looked at the gold coin with regret.

"You have fairly earned it. You may keep it, if you like. It is considered a trinket, here." Queen Alice said.

"No. If I used it again, news of it would leak out and I'd have one more thing to protect. And if I never use it again, what's the point of keeping it?" Mr. McDuck asked.

And Mr. McDuck returned it.

"All I ask is what I ask in the first place: to trade with you for emeralds and other valuables. I will trade fairly whatever your land needs most." Mr. McDuck said.

"So be it." Queen Alice said.

**The End.**

* * *

(1) Note to any REAL pilots out there: I DO hope I'm understanding this correctly.

(2) It is my humble belief, based on his hair, his last name and his behavior in "Luck O' the Ducks" that Launchpad is of Irish descent.

(3) My family came most recently from where Austria–Hungary used to be. It's Romania now. In the Transylvania Alps.

(4)They don't like me much because I'm a girl.

(5) Mentioned by Mrs. Featherbee in the Movie "Ducktales, Treasure of the Lost Lamp"

(6) Am I pushing this joke too far? I got the idea from the Disney movie, "Return to Oz". The actress who played Ozma looked more like Alice from "Alice in Wonderland" to ME.

(7) Note to DC comics: I changed the name! Nah, nah, nah, nah, you can't sue me! Besides, you swiped it from "Doc Savage" without so much as a by your leave.

(8) Read "Black and Blue Magic" by Zilpha Snyder. Good Book! (By the way, Disney- it would make a good movie!)

(9)Talk big when an inanimate object does that to YOU!

(10) I have no idea if pike live in Ireland, but since Tomlin's a wizard, he could bring them there if they don't.

(11)They're magic wings. They grew right thur the leather jacket without damanaging it

(12) Nah. I could. It's tempting. Especially since Launchpad would love to be able to fly on his own wings. But I don't want Launchpad to be a superhero. Just Launchpad.

(13)"Heavy Mental"


End file.
